Yoga is for Girls

From Warrior 2, helicopter your arms to Chataranga. Inhale into Upward Dog. Now a strong exhale through to Downward Dog.

If you have ever taken a yoga class you may have (more than likely) completed a sequence very similar to this. Yoga is a true obsession of mine. Originally it was just an hour dedicated to stretching out my sore muscles and joints. That’s it. It still has an incredible ability to keep me stretched out and thus keeps me from getting injured with all of the other taxing activities I do to my body, such as: playing racquetball, competing in triathlons, half marathons, strength training, etc. I hate stretching and hardly ever do it. Ever. Yoga does stretch your body out. Let’s be clear about that. The true rewards of consistently doing yoga are much deeper though. They are mental and spiritual. When I first started doing yoga I hated the breathing exercises and all the (weird) other stuff associate with yogi’s (people who do yoga). My practice has begun to expand into a whole different realm. I want everyone to experience this.

The entire purpose of yoga is to focus on your breath and loosen your body up for the grand finale of most yoga classes – the final Shavasana (I have no idea how to spell anything related to yoga). By focusing on your breath you are letting go of the things that are stressing you out. It is an extremely challenging thing to do for 60 minutes and I can honestly say that I have never successfully made it through a yoga class without my mind wandering. It happens. It’s going to continue to happen. Probably forever. The reason yoga is called a “practice” is because it is constantly evolving. Your body is a dynamic system that never feels exactly the same for 2 consecutive days. Same with your life. Some days you are really relaxed and other days you are totally uptight. Sometimes you are thinking about a promotion or a new job and others you are just stressed out about your financial situation. Some days your body feels great. Other times it feels awful. The practice of yoga is in accepting these challenges when you show up on your mat. Yoga teaches you to accept things that you cannot control and still keep moving forward. The word “practice” implies forward motion. You don’t “practice” something that you do not intend to get better at. Otherwise you just wouldn’t practice. Sometimes, for people like me, the challenge of yoga is to not to push myself to the absolute limits, physically. I have no trouble doing that outside of yoga. It’s definitely ok and encouraged to use yoga as a tool to balance yourself out. Certain people need certain things from yoga. Yoga helps me relax my body and my mind and truly creates a lot of clarity in my mind. It really allows me to forget the things that aren’t that important in my life. It helps me focus on being productive outside of the yoga room – not just busy. That is a big challenge for a lot of people. People think that if they aren’t insanely busy, they aren’t being productive. I think it’s quite the opposite. If you are thinking clearly you realize what the absolute most important 1 or 2 things that you need to be doing that day are. You learn to let go of things that are causing stress and not adding value to your life.

Yoga leaves you with a deep connection to who you are. It helps you reconnect with your ultimate purpose in life. And no, it’s not that really “important” email that has to go out by 4pm today. It’s easy for us to get lost in a sea of email, Facebook and other unimportant activities. Yoga is an investment of your time. Everyone has the capability to be phenomenal at something. Imagine spending 1 hour of everyday connecting yourself with that purpose. Figuring out one thing you can do each day that will help you take a step in the direction of that dream. Whatever it may be. For me, it’s owning several low-maintenance, high-value businesses and having the free-time to travel and write a New York Times bestselling book about my experiences. Yoga is the number one reason I have begun writing. It has led me to the realization that it is something I have to be doing and it is something I absolutely love. It really helps me ignore things that distract me from doing it too. That is a really important skill to develop. I think of it as intelligent ignorance. It is really challenging to think like a minimalist in a world that is so busy. Busy and productive are not synonyms. Busy and happy are also, not synonyms. Less is more my friends. Use yoga to clarify all the complexity in the world and reconnect with who you are. I know I do. It’s the best stress-relief I know.

To your success – Namaste!

I'm Coming Back

I hate hearing people’s watered down success stories. I would much rather hear about a time they faced some true adversity and were completely losing and failing at something. At that point, when everything possible is going wrong and a person trudges on. With complete faith in themselves. When someone responds to adversity by continuing to fight. By fighting like hell. Fighting harder than they ever have before. That’s what I admire. I admire that more than anything. I will ALWAYS root for a person who has that type of character. A person that will not be defeated. They always say that you can’t beat a person who doesn’t quit. A person who gets knocked down and is out of limelight but will not let go of their grandeur vision. “I’m coming back” when broken down, is a quiet confidence. It implies some sort of defeat or a setback being swallowed up by an internal confidence saying, “no matter what happens to me, or how bad my situation is, I will not be permanently defeated. You will see me again. I will win. Just wait and see.”

There are only so many times the world can beat down a strong person before people just get out of the way. There are much easier opponents than a person who will not give up. A person who is constantly working to develop themselves is invincible. He or she can get knocked down but they will always get back up. That’s why it’s so important to work on developing a positive attitude and not focusing on things that are out of your control. You have to create an attitude that provides a shield to protect you from all things negative. This barrier will allow you to forge on when the going gets tough. You will stay focused on your goals and not the minor impedances that occur along the way. Think about driving – your exit is coming up in 600 yards and so you are focused on it. You are looking ahead and that exit is your goal at the moment. Do you notice all the little bumps and imperfections in the road? Probably not, because they are irrelevant to you getting off at the correct exit. Life is the same way. If you have your sights set in the future and are completely obsessed and willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish some big goal or dream, all the minor setbacks and rejections are not going to matter.

The bigger your vision, the more relentless you are. Everything setback seems minor when you think huge. Like him or not, Donald Trump always says, “you have to think anyways, so you might as well think big.” Thinking big is the fuel for your spirit. It drives you when things get tough. It is a reserve that cannot be depleted. It is infinite inspiration and motivation. It’s what turns men into champions. It turns men into legends. Be a legend. Be a champion. 

Can't Stop. Won't Stop.

What are you chasing? What makes you excited? Whatever it is you can’t give up on it. Ever. You have to keep pushing yourself in that direction. The simple fact that you want it, is proof that you have the capability to accomplish it. Allow yourself to.

Don’t build things up in your head as being difficult, challenging, or impossible. Nothing is. Don’t allow your mind to convince you otherwise. Replace these words with easy, exciting, and revolutionary. Changing your perspective opens up a world of endless possibilities. The only barriers in this world are mental barriers. They are man-made. We all have greatness inside of us that is dying to be released. Release it.

If you are scared that your goal seems a little bit too big – GREAT! You are starting to release your mental barriers. There is no such thing as a goal that is too big. Only people that think too small to accomplish it. Everything at one point in time was impossible. Until somebody went out and did it. It used to be “impossible” to send invisible messages from one side of the country to the other, instantaneously. Enter text messages.

You can’t stop developing yourself. You can’t stop dreaming. You can’t stop being who you are and chasing the things that matter most to you. If you don’t do it, nobody else will for you. There has to be a sense of urgency and desperation. At this moment, you have all the tools you need to be the greatest person ever at whatever you want. Think about that. Don’t give up on yourself. Challenge yourself to release your inner-greatness! It’s there and it’s just waiting for you to say, “I am. I will. I can.”

The Enemy Within

What is the enemy within? To me it is the fear, doubt and insecurities that we all have. It is the moment in life when you feel helpless or unsure of yourself and your abilities. You wonder if you have what it takes. You start thinking of all the challenges that you might (or probably will) face. You start to build up an idea in your head of all the obstacles that could get in your way. You start focusing on the challenges, not the successes and accomplishments to be achieved. We have all done this at one point or another. Once we get into this type of thought-pattern, our minds take over. It is like trying to stop a locomotive. We start coming up with excuses and reasons for why we can’t do something. It doesn’t matter what it is: writing a book, losing weight or starting a business. We must create an environment in our own minds that allows us to see past the pain and past the little failures that we will inevitably incur.

Our mind is powerful beyond measure. It is our mind that controls our day-to-day actions. We must be incredibly strict about what we feed it. We must fixate ourselves on the positive outcomes of our goal. We can’t continue to think about how hard or difficult something might be or else we might quit. We have to do as many writing sessions, workouts or sales calls as it takes, respectively. The single reason that we all don’t achieve greatness is because we don’t all believe it is possible. Thoughts always manifest themselves in reality. Have you ever met a person who was always talking about the bad things that happen to them? They have something bad happen and then they start expecting bad things to happen. They are now opening the flood-gates for negativity. As they continue to expect negativity, it continues to happen. It’s a vicious circle. Luckily, this same principle can be leveraged to achieve massive success.

A positive thought, especially one relative to your goals, will create a burning desire to help you overcome the inertia of procrastination and self-doubt. If we don’t consciously work to control our thoughts, they will be developed through other sources, like the news, other people, television, etc. If we allow these other sources to infiltrate our mind we soon begin to see the world through a limited and fearful lens. If we are constantly watching the news, we begin to see all of the disasters and crimes as reality; that begins to create a feeling of helplessness. We start to see a world of limitation, not opportunity. We start thinking of all the bad things that have happened in the world which causes us to become fearful and timid. The news is absolutely irrelevant to the pursuit of our own dreams. There is really nothing to gain from knowing about every petty larceny charge and traffic jam in our neighborhood. It is only negativity. Same with negative people. Don’t allow their negativity to rent space in your mind. Your mind is a fertile abode of positivity. This doesn’t mean you have to be rude to people but work to fill your mind exclusively with positive influences. Get lost in good books, watch motivational YouTube videos, talk to an inspiring friend or work on your goals. These little decisions, compounded over several years will separate you from the pack. They will irreversibly turn you into a better, more positive and inspiring person.  

Yes, you can. 

I Will Not Lose

Failing is not losing. Losing is giving up. Failing is an important step towards success. The more failures the better. Failures are our best teacher. Fail often. Fail more.Fail faster. With failure comes education and personal growth. 

Everything is a matter of perspective. In life there are tons of things that will happen to you. You really do not have any control of a lot of things. You always have control of how you react. That is the difference between people who are ultra-successful and people who are not. Successful people see every bad thing that happens as an opportunity to win or to prove themselves. Losing out on a job that they deserved gives them an opportunity to find a better one. Having a business fail teaches them a ton of things that did not work. This is valuable education that enables their next business to be more successful.

We have all had things that have happened that didn’t seem fair. Myself included. Having an opportunistic mindset entirely changes the world you live in. You quit seeing problems and start seeing solutions – to everything. You start seeing the world as a limitless set of opportunities. You start thinking outside of the box. You start coming up with creative ways to solve problems. There is always a premium paid to people who are problem-solvers. Be that person.

If you dwell on the negative things that happen to you, you are missing the opportunities right in front of your face. There is no reason to dwell on something that you have no control of. You had no control over it! Focus on things you can control. Results will follow. Always take the attitude that absolutely nothing can defeat you. Any kind of failure is only temporary. The pain will subside and with the right attitude, a new opportunity will surface. A better one. Don’t ever allow anything or anyone to permanently defeat you. If you get knocked down, get back up. Be a winner in this world and tell everybody that no matter what, "I will not lose." 

No Maybe. No Might. No Try.

Commitment. This is the most important word in my vocabulary. When I make a commitment, it means that I will absolutely, without a doubt, accomplish what I promised to. Commitment is an absolute. The words maybe, might and try do not belong anywhere near the word commitment.

I spent the first 3-1/2 years of my professional life in a sales organization - a very intense sales organization. We stood in front of a room of our peers every single Monday morning at 7:00am and made a COMMITMENT that we were to accomplish for the upcoming week. If anybody heard you use the word “try”, they would challenge you. “Are you going to actually hit your commitment this week or are you going to ‘try’”, was a very common response. We eliminated the word “try” from our vocabularies. “Trying” is a pre-meditated excuse. It leaves you an out. Don’t leave yourself an out. When you make a commitment, you do absolutely everything in your power to honor it.

If I showed up to a sales meeting having missed my prior week’s commitment (which happened on occasion), the questions started. “Why did you stand up here last week and say you were going to do [something] and NOT do it?” How is that for accountability? It didn’t matter if there was a good reason for missing your commitment, there was always something more that you could have done to accomplish it. I remember being a college intern and one of my sales managers asking the group what type of person we wanted to be. He asked us if we wanted to be one who said we would do something and actually did it, or if we wanted to be a person who constantly made promises that we didn’t honor. That was an extremely powerful question. It really made me think. I made a decision in my first couple weeks that I didn’t just want to be a person whose word meant something. I wanted to be a person whose word was absolute gold. I have a vision statement that I read aloud every morning and one of the most important affirmations on that sheet is the following, taken directly from my vision statement: “I am a commitment-oriented person and the second I say I will do something, it gets done. My word is gold. I never make promises that I cannot keep and people admire the power of my words”.

Two things happen when your mind shifts to commitment-mode, as I call it. First, you start really thinking of how you answer requests for your time and energy. If someone asks you if you can get something done by tomorrow, and you can’t, you speak up. Instead of just agreeing, you give a realistic timeframe and set an expectation for the requester. This puts you in a very professional light. The second thing that happens, is you give yourself and everyone else a realistic timeframe and/or measurable goal or expectation for an accomplishment. It’s really easy to confidently say something like this: “John, I am not going to be able to get that proposal to you tomorrow, but, I will have it on your desk at noon on Wednesday.” You just defended your own schedule and your own time, suggested an alternative, and gave a reasonable deadline to be expected of yourself and all parties involved are aware of it. It’s a win-win for everybody. The more you do this, the more people will begin to respect your word. ***BONUS IDEA*** If you really want to impress somebody, do everything you can to get the aforementioned “proposal” to “John [made-up]” prior to the expectation you set! Boom! That’s much better than promising Tuesday and being a day late.

So asking you the tough question a sales manager asked me in the first month of my professional life: What type of person do you want to be? If you’re not where you would like to be – work at it. This is a skill that can be learned by anybody. I was fortunate in being in an environment where this was the most prevalent theme. It still takes practice – like anything worth learning in life. I think deep down, everybody wants to be the person that people say, “WOW! When he/she says something, or makes a promise, it ABSOLUTELY, gets done. You can totally count on him/her!” Challenge yourself to get better at this. It is a skill that will set you apart from your peers and build a heck of a reputation for yourself. Better yet, set a COMMITMENT, to get better at committing. I know you knew that was coming ;) 

Unapologetically, you

It always seems like the messages in yoga resonate with me more than any other forum. I don’t know if it is a heightened sense of attentiveness that yoga creates or just being in a more relaxed and focused state of mind. Whatever the reason, yoga leaves me feeling inspired very frequently. Last Saturday was no different. It started out as a normal yoga class until the teacher challenged us all. She said, “I want you to be unapologetically, you in this class.” As soon as she said that it made me start thinking of the meaning of that. In the context of yoga, she meant to not be afraid to do something different than the rest of the class. If you wanted to take a pose a little deeper than everybody, she encouraged you to do it. If you needed a break, she encouraged you to take one. She went on to elaborate on the concept of being “unapologetically, you” in a much deeper context. She talked about taking this concept out of the yoga room and into our daily lives. She mentioned it probably 30 times throughout the class. Each time it took on a deeper meaning to me. I immediately wrote down the words, “unapologetically, you” after class in my car. It is a very thought-provoking concept. What does that mean to you? How can you be more of yourself each and every day? How do you become more of yourself with no inhibitions or apologies to anyone?   

There are a lot of societal pressures for people to fit into a certain mold. To be a certain person. If you are being unapologetically, you - you don’t care what other people think. You know what makes you happy and are therefore pursuing it. It implies decisiveness. You have decided what you want and you are taking steps towards it. That is the ultimate success in life. Whether you want to be a professional violinist, a UFC fighter, or an entrepreneur who builds businesses and sells them. Why should you have to apologize for doing what you want? I admire anyone who relentlessly chases down something that excites them. It takes a lot of courage and often times, a lot of failures. Each failure is an opportunity to dust yourself off and try again. Success always lies in trying just one more time. At anything. The only person you should ever have to apologize to is yourself. And only if you are not being true to the person that you are meant to be. Don’t put yourself in that situation.

                

Give yourself permission to be unapologetically, you. Not just today but every day. Don’t apologize for pursuing a career that doesn’t align with your college major. Don’t apologize for risking everything you have to start a mobile recruiting app. Don’t apologize for giving up your career as a teacher to travel the world helping underprivileged children. If it makes you happy, then do it. Period. If it excites you. Do it. Don’t be scared of the possibility of failure. You have the inner resources to recover. We will always regret the things we were too afraid to try more than the things we have failed at. Make a decision today. Decide to be yourself, unapologetically. To do that one thing that scares you. Go speak in front of a large group. Go skydiving. Face your fears head on. They are never as bad as we build them up in our heads. Be proud to be – you.